


A Shining Light

by cecilia (ifasurfer)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: F/F, Pining, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27087904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifasurfer/pseuds/cecilia
Summary: Lucia begins keeping a diary in order to honestly express her feelings, mostly about her love for her childhood companion and queen, Elincia.
Relationships: Elincia Ridell Crimea/Luchino | Lucia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	A Shining Light

Slowly, Lucia's hand moved across the page, scratching out the letters of her deepest secret.

_April 30_

_I am in love with Elincia Ridell Crimea._

She felt her face burning up, and she pressed the back of her writing hand to her cheek; the difference was stark. _I just have to keep writing,_ she thought. _I promised myself I wouldn't hold anything back in this diary, even this..._

With a grim expression on her face, she continued writing.

_I am in love with her lush jungle-green hair and her tree bark brown eyes, the most beautiful forest I have ever seen. I am in love with her smile, sweeter than the finest Crimean honey. I am in love with her voice, stunningly powerful yet capable of the gentlest, most comforting statements that warm my heart. I am in love with her in court, on the training grounds, when we have tea together. I want to jump on her pegasus with her and fly to the farthest possible place to be alone with her, and once we're alone together, I want to have her._

Lucia made a pained noise and considered scratching out most of the last sentence, but remembering her oath she resisted. She let out a deep sigh and resigned to finish the entry.

_I have felt this way for years and years, but...I do not know if I will ever be able to tell her...I am terrified of losing her because of my own actions, that I could confess to her and only end up driving her away. So I will keep this secret, and...keep serving as her guard and advisor, and things will progress as they may._

With a frown on her face, Lucia laid the quill down on her desk and shut the writing book gently. Silently, she strode across the room and climbed into bed, alone, holding back tears until she fell asleep.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucia yawned and stretched out her arms as she thought about the day's entry. With some hesitation, she began writing.

_May 8_

_I apologize for forgetting to update this diary. Lately, I have been...very focused on my feelings._

_I find myself lost in them. The past several days have been a fog...When I am with Elincia and others are around, I can only focus on how deeply I want to be alone with her. But when we are alone_

Lucia sighed and bit at the end of her quill, an old nervous habit. She forged on.

_I cannot say anything I want to say, and it only results in more grief. I am growing tired of this constant ache in my chest._

_Today we trained. Elincia looks so graceful on her mount that I can hardly believe what I am seeing. The way she flies through the sky, I can think of her only as an...angelic figure. There is little else I can focus on when we're out on the training ground._

_Geoffrey noticed my lack of concentration today and chastised me for it; I know he was right to, but I'd still like to give him a punch in the ribs._

Lucia bit her lip.

_I hope he did not realize I was looking at Elincia...Or how I was looking at Elincia._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_May 13_

_Elincia spent the last three days on a diplomatic trip to Gallia. Due to custom and policy Gallian guards were provided for the trip and I did not accompany her._

_I did not expect to miss her so. She has gone on trips without me before, and the castle has always felt a little lonelier without her, but I have never felt such a deep...yearning as I did now._

_Seeing her on her return was like breathing fresh air for the first time in days. I felt the weight off my heart lift immediately, like all my worries melted away at once._

Lucia thought for a moment and sighed.

_I wanted to just leap into her arms and have her carry me off somewhere. What is wrong with me?_

_I suppose my feelings have grown that much stronger lately...They dominate my thoughts. I can still hardly focus on any task given to me by anyone besides Elincia. When she gives me orders, though, I find myself doing them with an eagerness I was not aware I possessed._

_I hope that soon I can find some sort of resolution to all of this..._

Lucia shut the book with a soft _thump_ and leaned back in her chair, gazing at the dark ceiling while she thought about what Elincia must look like asleep in her bed.

Blushing, she hurried herself up out of the chair and into bed, focusing on clearing her mind as her head hit the pillow.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucia's eyes were wet with tears, and her jaw hurt from being clenched so tightly, which she did to prevent herself from bawling. With a trembling hand she picked up her quill, dipped it in black ink, and began writing.

_May 17_

_There was an accident on the training ground today. Elincia was practicing a maneuver she's been trying to perfect, a tricky one, and on the landing she lost her balance and fell off_

A sob forced itself out of Lucia's chest, and she shuddered and pressed a hand to her mouth.Tears fell out of her eyes and onto the brown paper of her diary. She sniffled and begrudgingly allowed small cries to escape her. She resumed writing.

_her pegasus and landed behind it. She's completely fine, the healers got to her quickly and she only suffered a sprained ankle anyway. She's on bed rest for a couple of days and then she'll be allowed to walk again._

Lucia was full on crying now, and she dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief on her desk. She pressed her face into her hands and allowed herself to cry, unabated, for several minutes.

When she felt a little relieved of the urge to sob, she continued writing.

_I couldn't see what happened at first. I had just seen her try to land and fall, and when she fell my life fell with her. I've never been as terrified as I was today for those few moments, sprinting across the training ground. I had no idea if Elincia was OK. Of all the battles and wars I've fought in, I've never felt like I did today._

Tears now fell onto fresh ink, staining the page and muddying Lucia's sharp, cursive writing. She took a deep, rattling breath, wiped her eyes, and resolved to finish the day's writing.

_I have to tell her. I_

Lucia paused and struggled to take another deep breath, willing her wrist to write the words she felt in her heart.

_don't know how much longer it will be possible. We're in peacetime, but an accident could happen at anytime. I learned that today._

_I can't risk waiting any longer. I must tell her soon._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_May 18_

Lucia felt the pleasant smile on her face and thought for a moment about what exactly to write. She felt satisfyingly tired, and decided this entry would be a short one.

_Today I sat with Elincia in her chambers and took care of her, for the whole day. At first I felt silly doing it, and she seemed surprised, telling me the usual maid staff could bring her what she needed. But the way she smiled_

Lucia felt a pang in her heart.

_when I walked in with morning tea for the both of us set my heart on fire. I knew then I would spend the day with her, and get her whatever she wanted. Perhaps it was just a childish game, but...I was all to happy to play it._

She thought for a moment and rubbed her eyes.

_We took all of our meals together, a rare luxury. We chatted all day - about official business, about frivolous things, about going for a nice long walk once she's up on her feet again. And we talked for hours after supper, until we were both exhausted. I wanted so terribly to just...crawl into bed with her_

Lucia felt herself blushing severely, and wrote the rest of the sentence slowly and self-consciously.

_and wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me, as close as humanly possible. But I knew I should retire to my own chambers, and so, here I am._

She let out a big, loud yawn, and looked longingly at her bed across the room. She resolved to finish her diary entry promptly.

_Today was truly wonderful. I feel much better than last night, after the accident._

_I could not tell her. But I still know that I must. And because I must, I will._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_May 22_

_The past few days have been a whirlwind. I...must confess that I have not been back here in my chambers for the past few nights._

_On the 19th, after my last entry, I remained with Elincia again for the entire day. She was extremely busy with kingdom affairs, and I could not quite play maid again how I wished, but we took our meals together and had a very nice evening alone, talking about Crimea and an upcoming trip to Begnion she has, as well as the beautiful spring blooming all around us._

_When it came time for me to retire to my own room, I felt so deeply that I didn't want to leave her. I felt embarrassed, like a schoolgirl who misses sleeping in her mother's bed. I felt awful walking out of that room, and yet I knew I couldn't say anything._

_But Elincia, always sharper than anyone quite realizes, detected my hesitation and struck directly at my heart. She called my name in that quiet, gentle, beautiful voice she uses in restful moments; I turned around, lightheaded just from the sound of it._

_"You don't want to leave, do you?"_

_I tried as hard as I could to not break her gaze, and shook my head. I hoped with everything I had for her to say the words she said next, but I never actually believed she would._

_"I don't want you to, either. Please come rest with me."_

_I walked gingerly across the room, as though a heavy footstep would shatter the fantasy unfolding before me. Elincia slid over to her left, leaving me room to join her in bed; I did so slowly and deliberately._

_She tucked her head against my chest and we wrapped our arms around each other, and I felt as though my heart would burst._

_"Goodnight, Lucia," she whispered. I felt her voice vibrate against my body and tried desperately not to tremble._

_"Goodnight, Elincia," I responded. I closed my eyes and remembered at all once days so impossibly long ago, when as girls we had taken naps like this, arms wrapped around one another, the two of us safe and warm together under a soft blanket._

Lucia felt her heart beating intensely, and smiled to herself.

_I felt so very loved that night. I learned there is no warmth as wonderful and comforting as your beloved's arms around you, no smell as intoxicating as that of her gorgeous emerald hair unfurling in waves just below your face._

_I have never dreamed as sweetly as I did that night, together with my beloved. I wished it would never end._

Lucia paused and gathered herself.

_On the 20th I awoke to Elincia sitting on the edge of the bed, a cup of tea in her hand. With the other she was stroking my hair, smiling down at me._

_I do not know how I survived this moment._

_"Good morning, Lucia." She continued petting me, so impossibly gently, like one would a mouse. "It's still early. I'm sorry if I woke you up."_

_For once, I did not find myself struck silent, or agonizing over my words. I just said what was in my heart. "Elincia, there is no sight I'd rather wake up to than your smiling face."_

_I saw her blush a little, and became so painfully aware that I hadn't seen this before; it was so adorable it made my heart ache. "Lucia...." She giggled a little._

_I felt as though some outside force seized me suddenly. I sat up slowly and reached out to her; I laid my hand against her face, and she looked at me with questioning doe eyes. "Lucia...?'_

_With my other hand I slipped the teacup out of her grasp and placed it on the nightstand. I laid my hand over her own, folded in her lap. I swallowed and spoke in as much of a whisper as I could muster._

_"Elincia....I...I love you." In this moment I felt like my heart had stopped. I didn't think I could speak anymore, but I continued. "I love you more than I could ever love anyone else...I want to spend my life with you, Elincia..."_

_For once, my queen was stunned into silence. Her amber eyes bore into me, as soft as summer clouds._

_"The happiest times in my life have been with you. I never want them to end."_

_I could tell she was beginning to cry, but slowly, a smile unfurled onto her face. In that moment I was graced in heaven's light._

_She spoke in a voice so gentle I thought it might break apart as it travelled through the air between us. "Lucia...I..."_

_Defying my expectations, like she always does, she reached up to take hold of my own face, and pulled me close, until our lips met. I confess that in this moment I lost all sense of time, or direction, or even what was happening around us...when we separated I could hardly breathe. And when she smiled wider and looked up at me and said "I love you, too," I thought I might just pass away from joy._

_We kissed again, and again, and again.....in the days since we have remained at each other's side constantly, and have shared more kisses than I can count. Every single one sets my soul aflame._

_We haven't told anyone yet, but the maids are aware I haven't been sleeping in my own room, and they've surely seen us holding hands in Elincia's chambers during the day...they are surely the first to know. I pray they remain loyal and allow us to tell our friends first ourselves before rumours reach their ears. Once our loved ones know, we can announce it to the kingdom when we feel the time is right._

There was a knock on the door, soft. Lucia turned towards it. "Ah, yes, come in." 

Elincia opened the door slightly and stepped through it, into Lucia's chambers. She smiled.

"Oh...your diary?"

Lucia glanced at the quill in her hand, and the book on the desk in front of her. "Mm. I was just writing an entry for today." She ran a hand through her aqua locks. "I suppose it got quite long. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

Elincia smiled. "It's no problem, my love." She strode gracefully over to Lucia's desk, placed a hand on her face, and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. Lucia felt her heart beating faster, and Elincia spoke quietly.

"I'll wait up for you, darling."

Lucia shook her head slightly. "Oh, it's alright, dear. We can go back together. I'm nearly done." She turned towards her now former bed. "You can sit while I finish writing, if you like."

Elincia grinned widely. "Of course, my love." She sat down on the bed and felt the soft sheets. Surreptitiously, as Lucia turned back to her writing, she laid her face against the pillow and took a deep breath. _Hee hee....It still smells like her...._

Lucia's quill danced along the page, a little faster now. 

_Elincia started walking again today. We'll go out to the castle garden tomorrow and if all goes well we can start taking longer walks around the grounds next week._

She smiled.

_I end this entry with my beloved sitting nearby, and in a few moments we'll join arms and lock our hands together and walk back to her-- no, our chambers. We'll climb into bed together, and kiss, and swear our love again and again, just as we have these past few days._

_These are the happiest times of my life, and I am so very excited to spend the rest of it in Elincia's arms._

Lucia placed the quill down, satisfied, and gently shut the book closed. She turned to Elincia, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling.

"All finished, my love. We can walk back now."

Both women stood, joining their arms and hands together. Elincia grinned and Lucia returned it, her eyes shining with affection. The women kissed, giggling, giddy with love for one another. 

And so they walked back to their room together, arm in arm and hand in hand, joyous lovebirds gliding through the dark castle halls.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading <3


End file.
